OFGEOGRAPHY’S REALLY FUCKING WEIRD NICOLAS CAGE PILLOWCASE GIVEAWAY!!!!!
this is a pillowcase. it is real. i really own it. it really is in my apartment all the time, waiting for me to come home from work, staring at me in the dark, thinking of ways that it can be a REAL DOUCHEBAG.
why do i own this pillowcase, you ask? a couple of reasons.
- nicolas cage is my nemesis. why is he my nemesis? HE JUST IS. there is no rhyme or reason to it. sometimes you just look at a person’s face and think, “yeah, i’d punch it,” and you can’t explain that dark, ugly side of your character, but there it is, stealing the declaration of independence right under the u.s. government’s goddamn nose. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RUIN “RAISING ARIZONA” FOR ME, NICOLAS CAGE??? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT? APOLOGIZE FOR WICKER MAN. APOLOGIZE.
- my friends are assholes.
- you can get literally anything on the internet.
anyway, since there have been a bevy of new arrivals here at the ofgeo blog, i thought i’d take this opportunity to
scare you away get rid of this nightmare welcome you to my home!
YOU, TOO, CAN OWN THIS REALLY FUCKING WEIRD NICOLAS CAGE PILLOWCASE, FREE OF CHARGE! I WILL PAY FOR SHIPPING! I WILL LITERALLY PAY YOU TO TAKE THIS PILLOWCASE AS FAR AWAY FROM ME AS IT CAN POSSIBLY GET!
it is easy to win this pillowcase. you DO NOT have to be following me. you DO NOT have to like me or my blog or anything i have ever contributed to the world. you DO NOT have to have read the porn prison story. you DO NOT have to like hockey, but if you DO like hockey, i hope you have right opinions. you DO NOT have to have a dog, but if you do, could you send me pictures of your dog??? that’s unrelated to the giveaway, i just really love dogs.
HOW TO ENTER:
- step 1: like or reblog this post!
- step 2: send me a message detailing why you, specifically, should have this really fucking weird nicolas cage pillowcase!
- PSA: these messages will, in all likelihood, be compiled and published on the internet, because I KNOW y’all are a bunch of stone cold weirdos.
that’s it!! that’s the whole giveaway!! i should mention that i am too poor to send this really fucking weird nicolas cage pillowcase to anywhere outside of the united states & canada (also: sorry, quebec, but y’all have weird shipping prices, and i’m not made of money).
- EXCEPTIONS: if you live outside of the u.s. and canada, but you REALLY WANT this fucking weird nicolas cage pillowcase, AND you are willing to pay the shipping, i could make that happen for you. we can work it out. sorry, i know that sucks for you, but don’t blame me. BLAME THE POSTAL SYSTEM.
okay! that’s it! go team! SOMEONE TAKE THIS MONSTER OFF MY HANDS.
ETA: this giveaway ends, idk, friday august 29, 2014.
LAST CHANCE!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T MISS OUT ON THIS SUPER WEIRD PILLOW THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE TAKE IT OUT OF MY HOME AND PUT IT IN YOUR HOME INSTEAD.